Better than Normalcy - Blog

 I know some of you who know me and have read the posts about my mother know that the topic of my mother is a sensitive one.  I did though have someone say today that perhaps it is good to remember, in the cases where the relationship with a mother is a touchy one, the good things that your mother was able to do for you...even if she couldn't be there completely for you.  In effect, I should try to look at what my Mother could do and how perhaps she tried to show she loved me...even if it wasn't complete and whole.  This is my attempt to do that. I remember my mother making Lasagna and Spaghetti for me.  This always tasted really good.  There was something about her Lasagna especially that really made me feel good inside. My mother used to make me go on long walks with her to a store or to Burger King...and while growing up I found these walks frustrating...I realize now that it was her way to keep me close and protect me so I would not be left alone. There...

My favorite stop motion film is Coraline.  I watched this first with my oldest daughter, Sarah and I have since watched it many times since.  I don't think I realized completely why I connected so much to this movie, however in thinking about Mothers Day this year, I realized that growing up there was so much more I wanted from my mother, that she was unable to give because of her mental illness.  In the movie Coraline, Coraline's mother is first portrayed as very busy, dressed in boring colors, and not having time for Coraline...to which Coraline creates her own adventures for herself that lead her to find an Other Mother that is everything that she ever wanted. I personally feel I did not have a complete mother growing up.  She definitely was not there for me emotionally...and couldn't be.  After my father died, I found out that she had abused me as a baby when she was very sick.  While I have come to accept that I can't blame her for what she did or hold...